The Peanut Gallery: Putin Attempts Assassination of Greek Prime Minister - Zelenskyy & Mitsotakis Escape Unharmed
March 6, 2024
Welcome to the Peanut Gallery! Today we’re going to temper our expectations.
Please remember that I know nothing.
I feel weird citing an obvious AI.
As of 7:00 on Wednesday, there are no ships of the Russian occupiers in the Black Sea, there is one enemy ship in the Sea of Azov, not a missile carrier. As reported on the Facebook page of the General Staff of the Armed Forces of Ukraine on Wednesday.
So sayeth:
And which the other AI I used to check their work agreed was an accurate translation of:
¯\(ツ)/¯
Looks to me like they’re turtling-up.
That heavy patrol boat Ukraine sunk Monday was Russia’s best shield against their drones. The video of the attack is full of bullets, with a fucking helicopter overhead pulling recon.
Yet still one drone got through. Moscow was powerless to prevent it. And if the best of the ASF couldn’t hack it, what hope is there for the rest of the fleet?
Everyone knows this is potentially huge, right? Yes, I’m aware it’s too early to say, and the source is certainly dubious—but this is a mass repositioning in response to a catastrophic loss. It wouldn’t be an unreasonable response to fall back to the Azov Sea. Putin’s issue, though, is that doing so will yield the Black Sea to Ukraine. Like all of it, even the nice Russian parts.
Opportunities abound. Take Sochi, for example, where the Kremlin inexplicably held the 2014 Olympics, and where (unrelated, assuredly) Putin hides his bestest palace. All I'm saying is that it'd take just one JDAM fired off from a barge and the place'll go up in smoke. I’d pay $20 for a bucket of popcorn and a chance to watch that shit on widescreen.
Moscow’s (potential) abdication of the Black Sea presents enormous potential...if it continues, of course. With an open Black Sea there’s the (outlandish) potential for a naval invasion of Crimea, assuming, of course, Ukraine even believes they could pull something like that off.
In many ways Putin already lost Crimea. He can’t stick an A-50 over the Sea of Azov, he can’t sail ships beyond the Kerch Strait, the Kerch Bridge is now completely shut to traffic, and the Chonhar Bridge is non-functional. All that’s left is what Moscow can send via Armiansk.
And speaking of port towns...
Russian forces conducted a relatively larger series of drone and missile strikes targeting Ukraine on the night of March 5 to 6 and on March 6, including strikes on Odesa City during Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s visit with Greek Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis.
Western media reported that a Russian missile struck within several hundred meters of a convoy transporting Zelensky and Mitsotakis.
Putin just tried to kill Kyriakos Mitsotakis, the prime minister of a full-fledged member of NATO.
While the assassination was clearly targeted at Zelenskyy, kicking off World War Three was apparently a price worth the prize. Even Putin rolled boxcars, if they nailed the convoy directly, success still meant he’d have murdered the Greek head of state. Guaranteed that would both martyr Zelenskyy and trigger NATO’s Article Five. Quite frankly Putin is lucky he missed.
Of course this could all be part of some elaborate mobster message. A sort of, “I can kill you anytime, anyplace,” kind of thing. It's a scary message, too, just so long as we ignore that Putin only knew Zelenskyy's location because Mitsotakis’ itinerary is pretty much public knowledge. Greece isn’t at war, they don’t need to hide the movements of their head of state.
Ukrainian Ground Forces Commander Lieutenant General Oleksandr Pavlyuk stated on March 6 that Ukraine will try to seize the initiative and conduct unspecified counteroffensive actions in 2024.
Wonderful news!
Naturally Ukraine shifting back onto an offensive footing requires the United States House of Representatives to stop dicking around and pass the Ukraine funding package. The current timeline for the House to take it up, at least as far as I can tell, will be a little after March 22nd as that’s the deadline to fund the government. Given the GOP’s rancor over the issue, if the party is going to fissure then it’ll coincide with that vote.
Two more weeks, folks. Then stuff starts to move.
Russian authorities in Moscow Oblast created “training programs” for people potentially considering adopting illegally deported Ukrainian children in Russia.[80] The program reportedly falsely conflates Ukrainian and Russian culture. The program reportedly tells participants that their main objective is to create a “second homeland” for Ukrainian children in Russia and that they will need to overcome “difficulties in international differences.” Participants of the training program must undergo interviews in which Russian authorities ask if they have Ukrainian friends and relatives. ISW continues to assess that the forced deportation and adoption of Ukrainian children likely amounts to a violation of the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide.
Please give Ukraine what they need to bring this war to an end.
‘Q’ for the Community:
Will Russia ever return to the Black Sea?
Join the conversation over on /r/TheNuttySpectacle!
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