The Peanut Gallery: The Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church is a Soviet Spy
March 29, 2024
Welcome to the Peanut Gallery! Today we’re going to talk about the Council of Nicaea.
Please remember that I know nothing.
By the Powers Vested in Me by Literally Noone, I Hearby Declare Myself Emperor of Rome. I am now Augustus Storyteller.
A meaningless title? Certainly. But it’s a crown nobody seems to give a shit about these days, so I might as well pick up the dusty old thing and put it on my head. For the crown comes with certain rights, rights over the very representatives for the Divine. The Council of Nicaea, attended by all (legitimate) Christendom, established the Emperor of Rome (that’s me) as the Supreme Judicator in matters of Church Doctrine. Technically I now speak for God.
And as the Literal Voice of The Lord, let it be known that I excommunicate Vladimir Mikhailovich Gundyayev (Kirill), the ex-Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church.
The Russian Orthodox Church Moscow Patriarchate (ROC MP), a Kremlin-controlled organization and a known tool within the Russian hybrid warfare toolkit, held the World Russian People’s Council in Moscow on March 27 and 28 and approved an ideological and policy document tying several Kremlin ideological narratives together in an apparent effort to form a wider nationalist ideology around the war in Ukraine and Russia’s expansionist future.
So the Council of Nicaea was this big thing in the Fourth Century when Emperor Constantine gathered all of Christendom together and essentially hammered out the religon’’s specifics. Specifics like the validity of baptism, Christ’s divinity, and Easter. Even post collapse, the Bishop of Rome paid homage to the Emperor in Constantinople (Fuck you, Erdogan).
The edicts established several thousand years ago formed the foundation of the modern world. Ancient offices, like the Pope and the Dalai Lama, they’re walking historical artifacts, living relics of a time and tradition all but gone...Which is why I find it such a fucking violation that the current Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church served in the KGB.
Putin chose a spy and a murderer as his nation’s Divine representative. Because of course he would. He’s ruined everything else in that once beautiful country, so why not install the modern equivalent of Heinrich Himmler as Russia’s Pope?
The ROC MP intensified Kremlin rhetoric about Russia’s war in Ukraine and cast it as an existential and civilizational “holy war,” a significant inflection for Russian authorities who have so far carefully avoided officially framing Russia’s invasion of Ukraine as any kind of “war.”
The intent, of course, is to manifest a Russian identity from nothing, an identity Putin hopes to focus on external threats.
Unfortunately he still hasn’t given Russians a reason to care. Ukraine isn't attacking them—all their strikes fall on legitimate military targets. We aren’t seeing footage of bombs falling on Russian cities because there isn’t any footage. Ukraine isn’t targeting real Russians. Their goal is to destroy the Kremlin’s capacity for violence, a textbook exercise of self-defense.
Without a reason to go to war, without a tangible threat, then I can’t see Putin’s attempts to instill false national pride in the Russian people succeeding. But I’ve been wrong before and I’ll be wrong again, so I suppose we’ll have to wait and see.
The ROC MP appears to be combining previously parallel Kremlin narrative efforts into a relatively cohesive ideology focusing on national identity and demographic resurgence that promises Russians a period of national rejuvenation in exchange for social and civic duties.
ISW, at least, seems to think the plan has some merit.
Russia vetoed an annual United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolution extending a monitoring panel tracking adherence to UN sanctions against North Korea on March 28.
Does the UNSC even mean anything these days? Sanctioning North Korea was about the only damn thing they’ve accomplished. It reminds me of the League of Nations.
The Kremlin appears to have succeeded in pressuring Telegram to further censor extremist content following the March 22 Crocus City Hall attack, highlighting the Kremlin’s ability to pressure significant actors within the Russian information space to act in its interests.
Now that’s interesting. Telegram is entirely independent. They are not based in Russia, therefore have zero obligation to yield to the Kremlin’s requests.
In my opinion, however, ISW’s reading a bit too deep into the situation. From how they describe it, the Crocus City Hall attack brought out the trolls. The calls for more terrorism Russia were so overwhelmingly egregious that Telegram couldn’t ignore them. They cracked down, likely out of fear of enabling terrorism against civilians.
I bet the Kremlin submits censorship requests all the time. This is just one Telegram agreed was worth enforcing.
Ukrainian Commander-in-Chief Colonel General Oleksandr Syrskyi stressed that materiel shortages from delays in Western security assistance are constraining Ukrainian forces and forcing Ukraine to conduct a strategic defense.
Please give Ukraine what they need to bring this war to an end.
‘Q’ for the Community: /r/TheNuttySpectacle!
What are your thoughts on Putin’s attempts to nationalize the Russian people? Will he succeed?
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